One extra day after death please!

Recently the entire country was shook with the news of sudden demise of a talented young actor - Sushant Singh Rajput. I have watched few of his films. I did consider him a good actor, even a better dancer since, I had seen him dance really well, in the reality dance show - Jhalak Dikhlaja.

When I saw the news I was shocked like everyone else and really sad too. The first thought that occured to my mind was 'Why'? Why would an actor, who is at the peak of his career give up on his life? 

The entire social media was flooded with messages from everyone about how sad they felt, condolence messages and how everyone now wants to talk about mental health. There were posts stating, they are all available at any time for a conversation, in case anyone is considering taking our lives.

Well, I was overwhelmed with emotions too and I started watching his videos, his songs, his dance videos over and over again. When I watched few of his interviews, I saw a side of him which, I had never known till now. 

He had a difficult journey to stardom. He was an introvert in the beginning and he had learned a lot of things all these years, out of which, he shared a few with the students from IIT in one of his talk. It amazed me to see that, he had such clarity of thoughts and how much he knew about himself and what he was looking for in life.

He said, " When I was young, money was a big differentiator for me. I thought life was unfair because I cannot buy the things I want! I lacked the money that I could not even think I would be able to make, at that point in time. For me happiness was something I always associated with the future. I wanted to earn a lot and buy all the big things and become happy. Today I have fame, I have success, I have money but now it just doesn't seem to make any difference! Now, when I look back I feel that, it were those 'small' things in the past which were actually the 'BIG' things! He said he now understood that 'Money+recognition' wasn't equivalent to happiness for him. It was 'Now (present) + excitement' that he had been looking for all the time. He received it only while he was on the sets through his acting. That is really deep thinking and understanding about life.

I have been listening patiently and reading through all different opinions on the suicide and mental health over last few days. Well, I am a very good listener and here are few things I wish to share. 

I felt that it is a good thing that people are talking about mental health and want to help others. But again, the question remains will a person on the verge of giving up actually ping you on facebook or whatsapp and tell you that he is on the 10th floor of his balcony, just waiting to jump and wanted to see if you could convince him otherwise? 

I also read posts of people saying, "How can he commit suicide? It is such an act of cowardness!" According to me, it takes a hell lot of guts to jump off the 14th floor or hang ourselves till we die of suffocation or shoot ourselves in the head. I will never do that in my right senses! Why does it have to be labeled as being a 'coward'? 

I read a post by a friend, where a famous psychologist has explained it really well. He says "people who commit suicide, choose death when they feel living is worse than being alive. It is not like they don't appreciate life or they are not scared of dying. But, dying seems less scarier to them than living. He gave an example of why people choose to jump from the building which has caught fire. They are indeed afraid of jumping from that height but, somehow when the flames come closer, jumping from the building and dying seems less scarier to them than burning alive.

One of my friend was really irritated about this sudden love for the actor on social media. He said "Not everyone with a WhatsApp account, is a psychologist!" He thought, most of the posts were more about seeking attention than about the actor! Well, initially I thought he was being little judgemental. Many people might be genuinely feeling sad! But, something he said really made me ponder. He said "If someone in our family or a close friend, commits suicide, would we be posting it or his/her pics on Social media? Then why do that with a celebrity?" It did make sense, Sushant is not alive, he is not there to give any explanation or reasons and his family is hurting bad. So why not just let him go and let the family grieve in peace.

My brother had a completely different take, he said "Why is everyone feeling bad? Sushant has made his decision out of his own free-will. Maybe, that is what he wanted! Not because he was depressed or having a very difficult time but maybe because, he thought he has lived his life well, he has served his purpose and there is nothing more left for him! While everyone has a right to live, then, why not the right to die too?"

So, I received so many different perspectives from different people! Lot of these conversations, made me really think and contemplate and here is what i think.

It is evident from many of the posts from Sushant's celebrity friends/colleagues that most of them are feeling extremely guilty as to why they were not there for him and not in touch and why they could not save him. We will never know if anything could have changed whatever happened. I cannot be there for everyone! But yes, I can definitely try to be there for someone - my close ones. I may not protect them all the time. But, I can be a part of their life and support them! Life and death may not be in my control but, taking out some time for my dear ones, sure is! I am noone to judge why someone chose to die, but I can try to learn something from the life they lived! I am not a psychologist or an expert so, if someone needs any sort of help dealing with his/her personal challenges, the best I can do is try and be a patient listening ear and try to convince that person to seek professional help. 

I always felt that, if God would ask me for my last wish, I will tell him "I need an extra day on earth after I die. When I can be invisible and I could just hear the things that people would say because that is apparently the only time when everyone praises you whole-heartedly." I myself don't wish to wait till 'that day' to say good things to someone, to praise someone or share my genuine opinion, about things that matter to someone. I would want to express my real feelings and boost someone's self-confidence as early as I can! Life is so unpredictable, noone knows how much long, we or anyone else we dearly love has. Nor do we know for sure, if we get that extra day after we die. So if you wanna say something or get in touch with a long lost friend, 'NOW' is the right time!